Many of my friends and acquaintances have called and texted
in a frantic panic about schooling their kids while working from home and not
getting their usual breaks to chill and hangout with other adults. They know
that for many years I worked from home while homeschooling both my daughters.
What they don’t get is that even though we didn’t live a conventional
lifestyle, we still enjoyed many leisurely activities during the day when most
people were at work or school. There is nothing like visiting the Arboretum with
your kids and them actually being able to try all of the fun equipment without standing in a line for thirty minutes at a time. However, this current situation
we find ourselves in is far different than the conscious decision I made to homeschool
and work from home. For many who have no interest in that lifestyle, the day-to-day
mental demands can be much more trying. Below are some ways I've learned
to meet the challenge of unconventional parenting and coping which has met my needs throughout
the years.
Bedtime. The bedtime rules in my home are shifted
according to what is going on in our lives. I have always allowed my daughters
to stay up later than usual if they had nowhere to be the next morning. Two
major benefits I’ve noticed with extending bedtime is that first, they fall
asleep when they’re actually tired. Many times in the past when I allowed
parenting magazines to dictate our sleep schedules, my daughters would lie awake
for hours before finally getting some shuteye. They would still wake up the next morning groggy and I would always feel defeated by this. A second bonus to extending bedtime that I noticed was how peaceful my mornings became. If my normal uptime was around
7am and their uptime was around 9:30am, this meant I got a whopping two and a
half hours to work, eat breakfast and have coffee in peace. Nothing like a
quiet, zero interruption morning before helping my kids get their day started.
Support systems. Since what many parents are
currently doing is “not homeschooling”, I repeat “not homeschooling” in the traditional
sense of the practice, there is a huge support system of teachers and
administrators we should all be taking advantage of. Send for help as much as you
need it. Many instructors are offering video chat, instant messaging, texting,
phone calls and email, to help support you and your children during this unique
transition. The teachers at my daughters’ schools are so efficient that I have
only had to help them once or twice a day. In the traditional sense of
homeschooling you’re often all alone as the teacher (of several subjects, even
the ones I had no business teaching lol), disciplinarian, cafeteria lady, PE
coach and school therapist (for the many, many, many mental breakdowns occurring
on a weekly basis by both child and parent). Let’s just say that being your own
therapists might not be the best solution but oftentimes its necessary. I can’t
express enough how reassuring meeting these demands are when you know you’re
not the only person the kids have to rely upon in order to be successful. Take full advantage of having a curriculum and teacher for each subject and grade level provided for you.
Screen time. This may not be popular among many
parents but in this current situation my whole family has been violating all
screen time rules we ever put into place. I have relaxed on the rules related
to technology use because, well… I can. To keep the whole household sane we
need to be able to reach out to our friends and family members whenever we choose
and self-entertain with our Words with Friends addiction (oh, that might be
only me), but whatever Fortnite, Overwatch, Roblox, Minecraft, or Tik Tok
madness needed in order to get through the day. We work first then relax. If
screen time surveillance is something you’re stern about, then take breaks by
playing board games, doing puzzles and making homemade soap (which we did, but didn’t
realize it has to sit for 8 whole weeks before we can use it), next is our
homemade toilet paper project. Screen time is not the monster it once was since
we literally have no choice at this point. Give yourself and your kids a break by declaring
one or two days a week where device time isn’t measured, and everyone can relax
and do as they please. These are unfathomable circumstances so act accordingly
(which translates to, whatever works each day).
I hope these coping tools I’ve shared will help some
of you relax and give yourselves and your families a break. Six months ago I
went back to work full-time and told my daughters that our homeschooling and
working from home days were far, far behind us (this is where I would insert
the emoji with the straight face if I were texting). Which just proves however, that
we never know what’s coming next, which is even more of a reason to remain calm, think
outside of our boxes and simply enjoy today.
Jameelah Ra'oof MIS, MS
Coordinator of Teaching, Learning & Academic Excellence
Center for Faculty Excellence (CFE)
Texas Woman's University
940.898.3427
Stoddard Hall - Room 305A
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