Respecting different backgrounds and
experiences is essential for every classroom and department. But how do you
prepare for difficult conversations or cultural normalcy changes? This blogpost
will explore strategies and best practices for difficult academic conversations
among colleagues through defining, limiting, planning, and navigating
professional dialogues and soliloquies.
What are Difficult Dialogues and Soliloquies?
For this blog, we are focusing designating hot topic moments into two main
areas of focus: difficult dialogues and soliloquies. Difficult dialogues can
include conversations between a faculty member and colleagues that result in
conflict or disagreements and providing feedback to one another. Difficult
soliloquies can include presentations and lectures of topics that can be
described as a hot-button issue.
How to limit the amount of difficult dialogues and soliloquies?
Whether in a one-on-one conversation or in a department meeting difficult
topics will arise from curriculum changes to politics to salary projections. They
can be both unavoidably triggered or inevitably expected. For soliloquies, a
faculty member may have a presentation on a hot topic issue or is reporting a
less than popular policy. The key to being able to handle both is to be
prepared and knowledgeable in approaching the situation with care and with the
intention of diffusing the situation. To achieve this, there are four steps
that can aid in avoiding making a conversation into a difficult one:
- Stay up to date with university news, policies, and current events. By ensuring that you are aware and knowledgeable, you can avoid misspeaking and causing unnecessary confusion. If you do not know the answer, be sure to state so upfront.
- Stay calm and use respectful language, while clearly expressing professional intent. Respect should always be a priority for all parties involved.
- Be aware of who your audience is or who you are conversing with. With any dialogue or presentation, there are different social expectations on appropriateness and respect depending on who you are speaking with. It is also important to never assume your audience’s life experiences or individual opinions.
- Create an environment that is supportive, and community based. By creating an environment of amenable support, you can lessen any potential tensions or hurt feelings with the understanding that any and all language is not meant in ill-well.
How to plan for difficult dialogues and soliloquies?
When difficult conversations need to be had, it is always important to prepare ahead and determine the best course of action. Even in the most ideal scenarios, it is not possible nor feasible to expect and prepare for every response or reaction, but one can still prepare in order stay in control with facilitating the conversation. Preparing for this difficult dialogue can make the difference for creating acceptable outcomes and resolutions. The first step in planning is to determine potential outcomes. I recommend starting with three potential ones: an ideal resolution for you, a compromise for all parties, and an unacceptable outcome for you. Place these in a chart such as below:
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Ideal Resolution |
Potential Compromise |
Unacceptable Outcome |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
For the second step, list some aspects of what each main scenario may look
like. Now, review your compromise column. Be sure that your compromise is
looking for a resolution and not falling into an unacceptable outcome. Is it a
fair approach in mediating a situation or in providing common ground in a
presentation? Does this compromise help avoid the unacceptable outcome?
Next, determine what talking points and language may lead to any of the
three outcomes. Beware of using certain trigger words or phrases that could
lead the conversation towards an unacceptable outcome. If possible, once you
have created your outcomes, your talking points, and your list of words to
avoid, reach-out to a friend, mentor, or experienced colleague for assistance
in practicing the conversation. This will assist in allowing you the change to
avoid becoming emotional and losing control of the situation, while receiving
additional insight.
How to navigate difficult dialogues and soliloquies?
Finally, when it is time to begin that difficult dialogue or presentation, be sure that the scheduled time is convenient for all parties involved if possible. When beginning the conversation, be sure to focus on “I statements” instead of “you statements,” while framing the narrative as acknowledging feelings or the situation without blame. Be sure to give space for each party to share their input and perspective, while encouraging the language to fit within “I statements” and “you statements.” During the conversation, be sure that everyone remains respectful, while you facilitate the conversation in a manner that allows everyone a chance to speak.
Some useful strategies to incorporate can include:
- The Five Minute Rule: anyone who does not feel that their point-of-view is being heard has the chance to provide their perspective, while everyone else must listen for 5 minutes to everyone who shares that view point. Critics must remain quiet to provide the space for communication.
- The Fishbowl Exercise: If the conversation is comprised of multiple individuals rather than a one-on-one conversation, breaking individuals into smaller groups based on similar views. One viewpoint is brought into the middle of the group to share-out, while all critics silent. The groups then alternate. This allows empathy and space for all to be heard with their unique takes on a particular situation.
Final Thoughts
Looking at our own careers, it can be recognized that difficult conversations are a normal part of our professional experiences from the moment we are offered a new position, collaborate with colleagues, engage with diverse perspectives, to our research that may challenge preconceptions. Difficulty dialogues and soliloquies are an important facet of careers in higher education, where a lack of preparation and training can have negatively affect one’s career trajectory. However, this can be remedied through some mindful strategies and preparation. Regardless of whether your next difficult conversation is focused on your career or interpersonal communication, following any of the above strategies can provide you the chance to practice your skills in mediation, communication, and leadership.
If you are interested learning more, please feel to
reach-out to the Center for Faculty Excellence for future programming and
resources!
Dayton L. Kinney, Ph.D.
Coordinator of
Teaching, Learning, & Academic Excellence
Center for Faculty Excellence (CFE)
Texas Woman’s University
Stoddard Hall – Room 305A
940.898.3427
dkinney@twu.edu
Resources
Difficult Conversation Ahead? Be at Ease! (2023)
Ombudsman and Mediation Services. United Nations. https://www.un.org/ombudsman/resources/tips/difficult-conversation
Difficult Dialogues. Vanderbilt University Center
for Teaching. Accessed November 24, 2023. https://cft.vanderbilt.edu/guides-sub-pages/difficult-dialogues/#tools
Evola, Marianne. (2023). The Importance of
Difficult Dialogues. Texas Tech University’s Office of Research &
Innovation. Accessed November 27, 2023. https://www.depts.ttu.edu/research/integrity/RCR/sm-archive/difficultdialogue.php
Ruiz-Mesa, K., & Hunter, K. M. (2019). Best
practices for facilitating difficult dialogues in the basic communication
course. Journal of Communication Pedagogy, 2, 134-141. https://doi.org/10.31446/JCP.2019.23
Soisson, Annie. (2018). Seven Bricks to Lay the
Foundation for Productive Difficult Dialogues. Faculty Focus. https://www.facultyfocus.com/articles/effective-classroom-management/seven-bricks-to-lay-the-foundation-for-productive-difficult-dialogues/
